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Emotional Overreactions and Depression

At times we do not feel as if the day is going well and we don’t feel like getting up. We don’t feel like doing anything. What is really happening to me? It’s cloudy and dreary and I just don’t feel like doing anything today. Have you ever felt this way before?  It’s just a feeling that we can’t seem to shake. We know that this affects many of us on a daily basis, but we need to fight to get up and move around. It may seem as if its the end of the world, but don’t never give in.

 

Depression

Here we go again with that dreaded word “depression”. Lately, many people have been affected with this disorder that tricks our minds to think about things that are not true. At times, we feel lonely, unloved, disliked and the list continues which simply tears you down. It’s unfortunate how much when life events seems to distracts us and we begin to conform to these false beliefs.

 

It’s about me?

We blame ourselves for so many things and begin to sink in misery. It’s our fault. It’s true that you are crazy and no one loves you now or in the future.

 

Well, it’s not really about me.

You can be the most loveable person in the world, but still bad things happen. Indeed, bad things do happen to everyone. We simply must be mindful of how we react to situations that gets us so angry. It can be a simple little thing that sets us off and instead of walking away, we explode.

 

Emotional Overreactions and Depression

 

We find ourselves overreacting so much that affects our entire week and at times we drag it out to several months. You find yourself tearing up for several days upon weeks and your energy is not there. You are not sleeping well and you have not drive to do anything. Your self-confidence has vanish and self-doubt lingers. It takes a toll on your body and it takes a while to get back on track.


Avoiding Depression and Overreaction

It’s time for us to realize that this is a vicious cycle that continues every day. It takes a lot of practice and patience to stop overreacting. First, we need to become aware of what you are doing and put a stop to it.

 

Here are some suggestions for avoiding an emotional overreactions thanks to depression.

 

  • Life events comes and goes.
  • Stop overreacting!
  • Practice a lot of self-talk. Watch your breathing and inhale (peace) exhale (frustration).
  • Do a reality check? Check in with someone who knows you.
  • Distract yourself and do something else.
  • Believe in yourself and know that you are not alone.
  • Quiet your thoughts and mediate.

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Keeping Cool With Your Defiant Child

It’s barely 11 am and my son lost his temper again. He is easily annoyed, bossy and frustrated by other people. He tends to blame others for his difficulties and makes so many excuses. They are drawn toward negative peers and tend to be more sulky. Parents generally respond to these behaviors by negotiating, bargaining, giving in, screaming and threatening. Here are 5 ways to survive a defiant child.

  1. Don’t Lose Control – Remember to be calm, clear and firm with the situation.

  2. Don’t Focus On Who is Responsible –  Parents are responsible for how they react to their children. For instance, a toddler may have an outburst which causes you to react. First, realize that the issue at hand is not to yell and scream. It’s up to you to decide how to handle this. At times parents are overwhelmed with stress and frustration, but please remember that this too shall pass.  Defiant toddlers are still developing and its not their intention to cause trouble.

3.  Pay Attention To The Positive –  When your child does something right, acknowledge it!

4. Don’t Assume The Worst – This hits home for me! As a parent, we are overwhelm with the challenges throughout the day that drives us crazy. The first task is to realize that your child is going through something and his or her intentions are good. We tend to set up ourselves when we look at the negative side of things.

5. Set Limits For Your Defiant Child –  Carefully pick your battle with your child which may include not arguing with your child.  For instance, when going to the mall with your child know what to do when he acts out in the car. Have a plan in place that you will use if he thrown a tantrum.  In addition, make sure to follow through with your plan until your child realizes that he will not get away with his behavior.

Parents needs a lot of determination and strength while working with their children.  You may have a child who is defiant, but is peaceful at home. The main point is to decide: Are you going to change the world for your child? or Are you going to teach him or her how to cope with it?  How have you dealt with YOUR defiant child?


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Stop Overreacting

 

Effective strategies for calming your emotions

Understanding overreactions- We must be aware of the things that triggers our emotions for instance we may overreact to situation that is fueled by past experiences and raw emotions which we have not dealt with yet.  I completely understand how we can get so worked up about something and we must acknowledge our emotions that cause us to overeact and gets us in trouble. Not everyone reacts the same way which is something that I had to learn during the course of my life. Each of us as a different range of emotional equilibrium that is known as “the degree to which we can mange stressful experience in a calm and thoughtful way” (Siegel, 2010,p. 9).

The Exploder and the Imploder

When I saw this title I could relate to the imploder which is the quiet person who puts their feelings aside while the exploder gets very upset and loud. Exploder has a hard time holding on to their feelings and are easily agitated. For instance, a child whose feelings are not noticed by teachers and parents which leads depression or becoming ill. There are three ingredients to overreacting that includes “the event that triggers a sense of danger, an immediate response that involves our emotions as well as our physical state, and an interpretation of unfolding events that may be colored by defenses and emotional memories” (Siegel, 2010, p. 12). The way how we view a situations has an effect on our psychological well-being which has an effect on the way we view a situation.

In order to manage our reactions we must first be aware of the way how we tend to react. Here are some questions to help you with this exercise:

  • When someone gets very angry at your, do you tend to withdraw?
  • Would people who know you describe you as someone who is mainly logical?
  • When the stress in your life builds up, are you likely to feel fatigued or ill?
  • When someone asks you how you are feeling,  do you give them information about events or description of your emotional experience?
  • Do you often zone out or have an escape fantasies?

If you answered yes to most of these questions, then you are an imploder style. However, here are some other questions for a exploder style:

  • Do you frequently lose your temper or fight about an issue that seems important in the moment but that you barely remember a few weeks later?
  • Do you speak your mind if you think someone has acted inappropriately?
  • When someone challenges you, do you get annoyed and stand up to them?
  • When another car cuts you off in traffic, do you try to catch up to them or start swearing?
  • Do people tell you that you are too emotional?

If you answered yes to most of these questions, then you are a exploder style.

The following is a body scan exercise that will help you to become aware of your feelings. First, start from a relaxed position, close your eyes and focus on the different parts of your body. Ask yourself is you are aware of carrying any tension in your body. Is your heart racing? Do  your muscles feel tense? How about your neck is it tight?Are your hands relaxed? Are your fingers open or clenched? What does it feel like in your stomach? When you know how your body is when you are relaxed, you will begin to notice  how you change when you are under stress. Secondly, we must explore one of the feelings such as being angry and try to learn more about it. We can look back at how we felt when we were angry  and begin to do a body scan by asking yourselves all the questions in the first part of  this exercise. Think about the tension that you are carrying to different parts of your body, If you are uncomfortable, where do you notice this most? If you feel better, do you notice it in any part of your body? By noticing the different sensations throughout the body you are beginning the grasp a whole new way of exploring your feelings. Thirdly, we can now begin to try a guided exercise where you revisit how you feel when you experience something good. By learning how we felt during that experience we can call it up during the times that we are feeling angry or upset. If you open up yourselves to positive feelings, “you will add to your reservoir of well being” (Forsha, 2000).

 

 

Reference:

Siegel, J. (2010). Stop Overreacting. Effective strategies for calming your emotions. New Harbinger Publications, Inc.