the healing journey counseling fl

healing, anxiety, loss, grief, depression, ptsd, self-care, suicide prevention, post partum depression

Keeping Cool With Your Defiant Child

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It’s barely 11 am and my son lost his temper again. He is easily annoyed, bossy and frustrated by other people. He tends to blame others for his difficulties and makes so many excuses. They are drawn toward negative peers and tend to be more sulky. Parents generally respond to these behaviors by negotiating, bargaining, giving in, screaming and threatening. Here are 5 ways to survive a defiant child.

  1. Don’t Lose Control – Remember to be calm, clear and firm with the situation.

  2. Don’t Focus On Who is Responsible –  Parents are responsible for how they react to their children. For instance, a toddler may have an outburst which causes you to react. First, realize that the issue at hand is not to yell and scream. It’s up to you to decide how to handle this. At times parents are overwhelmed with stress and frustration, but please remember that this too shall pass.  Defiant toddlers are still developing and its not their intention to cause trouble.

3.  Pay Attention To The Positive –  When your child does something right, acknowledge it!

4. Don’t Assume The Worst – This hits home for me! As a parent, we are overwhelm with the challenges throughout the day that drives us crazy. The first task is to realize that your child is going through something and his or her intentions are good. We tend to set up ourselves when we look at the negative side of things.

5. Set Limits For Your Defiant Child –  Carefully pick your battle with your child which may include not arguing with your child.  For instance, when going to the mall with your child know what to do when he acts out in the car. Have a plan in place that you will use if he thrown a tantrum.  In addition, make sure to follow through with your plan until your child realizes that he will not get away with his behavior.

Parents needs a lot of determination and strength while working with their children.  You may have a child who is defiant, but is peaceful at home. The main point is to decide: Are you going to change the world for your child? or Are you going to teach him or her how to cope with it?  How have you dealt with YOUR defiant child?

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Author: thehealingjourneycounselingfl

Registered Mental Health Counselor Intern in the state of Florida. Professional member of Florida Association for Infants Mental Health and Florida Mental Health Counselors and The American Counseling Association. Field Advocate for Suicide Prevention and Applied Suicide Intervention Skills Training. She is also a mentor, army spouse and works with service members and their families.

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