the healing journey counseling fl

healing, anxiety, loss, grief, depression, ptsd, self-care, suicide prevention, post partum depression


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How to Protect and Center Yourself

“Whoever can see through all fear will always be safe. ~Tao the Chang “(Orloff, 2000, p.155)

Everyday we must make the decision to use our intuition in order to help ourselves. One way of accessing our intuition is to be centered which means “finding the still point inside, no matter what is happening” ( Orloff, 2000) p. 156). We must also protect ourselves from any negativity or threat such as dealing with an angry boss, annoying mother-in law, manipulative spouse etc. We have seen this played over and over again and we know exactly what is going to happen. How do you protect yourselves from people who drain your energy? Wouldn’t it feel good to arm yourself with tools to help you block this energy?

For many years, we experience so many emotional,physical, spiritual challenges that knocks us out. For some time, we realize that these emotions such as depression, anxiety, and envy take over our lives.  You didn’t  get any respect from your boundaries and yes it took some time for you to get back on your feet. Now let’s get some help for you to protect yourself now.

Step 1.

Notice Your Beliefs

Begin to ask yourselves what are my triggers? When life steals your joy, how do you deal with this? How could you protect yourself? We need to call on our inner self for guidance, by connecting with this part of yourself so that you can feel more confident. Resilience is the key to get through these feelings so that you can keep all negativity away.

The following are some common beliefs that deplete your energy:

  1. I’m not strong enough This is a lie that we tell ourselves every day and we need to believe in ourselves. When was the last time you actually looked in the mirror and said ” I love you?”
  2. Other people’s negative thought destroys me.- Yes, this is an area that we all need to be aware of when someone’s negative energy take over. We must know how to deflect this energy and ask it to leave. Avoid dwelling on what was said and do not pay any attention to negativity. The more you feed into negativity the more it destroys you. Focus on your strength within yourself and block it.
  3. I’m so sensitive Well, aren’t we all sensitive? If we realize that we have a thin skin, then make sure to run when it get to be too much. If we stick around, we will become overwhelmed and we need “to teach ourselves how to remain vulnerable and feel safe. And this doesn’t mean that we shut our sensitivity off but to develop it as a creative resource.” (Orloff,2000, p. 159).
  4. We often take on the pain of others If you are a very compassionate person, you are deeply affected by the pain of others. But we need to realize that we can’t help everyone. It’s natural to want to help a homeless person, a hurt child etc. We must be a supportive person that will not take on the pain of others. Yes, it hard to see others suffering, but we need to respect the fact that they need to go through this process. No matter how much we feel we can do for others, but just the act of doing too much hinder us. We can be caring, thoughtful and honest with our feelings. Lastly, don’t get carried away, preserve your energy so that you can have some balance in your life.

 

Step 2. Be in your Body

We need to be aware of our body and how it is affected when we are experiencing various emotions. Sometime we feel tension or pain in our back, a headache etc. We need to center our body at all times such as “exercise, hiking, dancing, yoga, pedicure, long bubble bath etc. Getting a massage, going for a walk,spending some time with your pets, gardening and listening to nature are great ways to help. Here are some suggestions by Dr Orloff:

Techniques for centering

Watch your diet- I know we hear this over and over again. But it’s true, we need to watch what we put into our mouths. For instance, today I wanted to get a subway tuna sandwich, but instead I made salad with grapes and strawberries.

Do mundane tasks- For instance, if you are shopping concentrate on the task at hand.

Practice anonymous service-  Helping a neighbor, hold the door for an elderly person, Let someone go ahead of you. Volunteer at an homeless shelter and serve food etc.

Spend time in nature- This is one of my favorite activities which include just going to the part, walking by the lake, listening to the birds while on the porch, go to the beach, listen to the waves etc. Water is a great source to soothe you and purify yourself.

Mediate- Yes, we all hear about this and yes it was not easy to mediate the first time, but with practice we need to sit still and focus on our breath. If you are cramp for time, I would suggest just sit back, close your eyes and inhale peace and exhale frustrations etc. Complete a body scan that include focusing on your feet and work yourself all the way up to the crown of your head.

 

Step 3. Sense your Body’s Subtle energy

When we were younger, we find ourselves enjoying going to the mall, parties, etc, but we may realize that we didn’t really want to do this. After sometime, we begin to feel overwhelm and exhausted around groups and we begin to ask what is wrong with me? If you are like me, I suspect that we soak up the energy of the people around us. I also began to realize that I can feel what someone else is feeling both physically and emotionally. Dr Orloff stated that ” the more people per square foot, the more our energy fields intersect–thus the tendency to become overloaded in high-density areas. This aspect of intuition is the most neglected and misunderstood.” (Orloff, 2000, p. 163).

Four ways to avoid absorbing other’s people energy

  1. Walk away This may seem rude at first, but with practice we need to walk away when we realize that this situation is taking away our energy.
  2. Shield yourself Yes, it is important to protect yourself such as if someone is upset, you need to take a deep breath and center yourself. No, this is not being selfish, but it helps to place yourself in  bubble so that we don’t absorb their energy.
  3. Practice vulnerability – “Too often we are taught to equate vulnerability with weakness. Not so, I like being vulnerable and also strong. This disarms people.” (Orloff,2000, p. 166).
  4. mediate Practice daily mediation which helps you to connect with yourself.

Step 4. Ask for Inner Guidance

At times no matter what we do, we first need to ask for guidance for everything. So take a breath, center yourself and ask for guidance from the Lord. Set aside the excuses that we often lets us missed a great opportunity to receive guidance. Give it a try to see what happens. It takes a lot of practice and patience so don’t give up on yourself.

Step 5. Listen to your Dreams

We often go to sleep at night and wake up to some nightmare or we can’t seem to shut off our thoughts. Dreams are way of telling you something that may help you in your life. Don’t be troubled my your dreams. Continue “to cultivate inner peace and resolve, strengths that come forth invisibly. There’s nothing like a little centeredness to

counteract even the biggest, baddest, most unsettling calamity. Have confidence in your own power.” (Orloff, 2000, p. 175).

Reference

Orloff, J. (2000). Guide to Intuitive Healing. 5 Steps to Physical, Emotional, and Sexual Awareness.


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The pregnancy I always wanted didn’t save me

You never know what the Lord has in store for you. Be patient and wait on him. Enjoy the rebloged entry.

notes from the neighborhood

Four years. We spent four years trying to get pregnant. Every last hope. Every last wish. Everything I ever wanted hinged on having children. I wanted a baby so bad.

Anyone who has struggled with infertility knows the cycle of emotions. Shame. Pain. Embarrassment. Hope. Disappointment. Hope. Disappointment. Jealousy. Shame for feeling jealous. Hope. Disappointment. Anger. Sadness. Depression. Round and round it goes.

The emotions are suffocating. And so, so lonely. Because it is such a hard thing to deal with it’s an even harder thing to talk about. Infertility is very isolating. Every time I  hear of someone who has been ‘trying to get pregnant’ I am taken back to the place of isolation. I feel those emotions again: the sadness- deep and aching and I long to say, “I get it.” But having a baby after struggling with infertility boots you from the club. Yes I can relate…

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Postpartum Depression (May is Mental Health Awareness)

Postpartum Depression(PPD)  – What is this?

The birth of a baby can trigger a variety of emotions that includes excitement, joy, anxiety and fear. However, it can also trigger depression. For new moms who experience baby blues after a childbirth that includes feeling moody and crying a lot which subsides very quickly. There is also a more severe form of depression known as Postpartum Depression which develops after childbirth.

The Postpartum depression (PPD) includes the appearance of baby blues at first, but the feeling intensifies and last for a while that interferes with your ability to care for your child. Some of the symptoms of PPD includes lack of appetite, lack of sleep, getting angry easily, very overwhelmed, loss of sexual desire, sadness, feeling ashamed and guilty, severe mood swings,  and a hard time connecting with your baby. If PPD isn’t treated it can last for several months. Whenever you are feeling depressed after a delivery, do not be ashamed. Reach out to your doctor or connect with a mental health professional that knows about PPD. If you feel as if you are getting worse and finding it hard to take care of your baby, hard to keep up with your activities and having thoughts of harming yourself or your baby, please seek medical attention.

Some of the treatment of PPD includes four categories such as Self-help, Psychotherapy, mediation and alternative treatment. There are several new moms who are suffering in silence, but there is hope for them. According to Dr. Hibbert who quoted from the Postpartum Support International, “You are not alone. You are not to blame. With help, you will be well.” (Hibbert, C,2015).

Get the facts about Perinatal Mood & Anxiety Overview

Are you feeling depressed, worried, anxious or panicky, trouble eating or sleeping, having upsetting thoughts that you can get rid of in your mind, worried about hurting your baby? If you believe you have any of these symptoms, this could indicate that you have Perinatal Mood or Anxiety Disorder such as Postpartum Depression. It is best to inform yourself while you are pregnant so that you can get the help you need.

Tools for Moms

The following is a list of tool that is helpful for moms that includes:

  1. The Edinburgh  Postnatal Depression Scale (EPDS) see link here http://www.beyondblue.org.au/resources/for-me/pregnancy-and-early-parenthood/edinburgh-postnatal-depression-scale

  2. The Online PPD Support Group  which provides peer support, chat rooms, posting boards etc follow the link here http://postpartumdepression.yuku.com/

  3. Text4Baby is a free text messaging tool that pregnant and new moms can use. Each week new moms gets a free text message to assist you through your pregnancy and the first year of the birth of your baby. In order to sign up, please TEXT …BABY to 511411 or Envia….BEBE al 511411  para Espanol.

References:

Hibbert, C. (2015). Postpartum Depression Treatment. Retrieved from http://www.drchristinahibbert.com/postpartum-depression-treatment/

Mayo Clinic Staff. (2015). Postpartum Depression:Definition. Retrieved from http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/postpartum-depression/basics/definition/con-20029130

Postpartum Support International. (2015). Pregnancy and Postpartum Mental Health. Retrieved from http://www.postpartum.com/Get-the-Facts.aspx

Postpartum Support International. (2015). Tools for Moms. Retrieved from http://www.postpartum.com/Get-the-Facts/Tools-for-Moms.aspx

 

 

 


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Warning Signs Parents of MIL Teens Can’t Ignore

Warnings sign parents of Mil teen can’t ignore

Military Spouses of Strength Blog

We want our military kids to stay young, we wish they would grow up. After years of teaching, nurturing and disciplining, our babies hit the teen years and start to spread their wings. And while we are still responsible for them – both physically and emotionally – it’s time we begin to let go.

When they are little it’s simple. If they are hungry we feed them, sick we nurture them back to health. And if they are hurt we kiss them to make it better. But things change when they hit the teen years. The “I’m, fine” response no longer holds true. A slammed door or angry retort to the simple inquiry whether chores are complete may not have anything to do with the question at hand. It can feel as though all of our parenting savvy disappeared overnight.

When my children were teens I found myself wondering if…

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Stress Awareness- Meditation

Here my latest blog post. Enjoy 🙂

the healing journey counseling fl

Mediation helps you to relax and focus on your mind, body and spirit. Here are some tips on getting started with mediation.

  1. Relaxed yourself and bring yourself to a comfortable position which can include sitting in a chair, on the floor or lying on your back.
  2. Release – Exhale completely. Please mentally be aware that you are releasing your frustration, anger, etc.
  3. Release- Make sure to inhale slowly and you can mentally say ” one” while doing this. Allow yourself a slight pause then begin to exhale again. Mentally know that you are allowing peace back into your body.
  4. Exhale and release- Continue to do this cycle for about 5 mins and continue to say inhale “peace” exhale “frustration”.
  5. Added bonus ~ Music can also help you as well as listening to nature. For example, you can go outside and sit and listen to the wind blowing, the birds chirping…

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